and another set of side effects begins...

And I thought I was going to get off scott-free.  Seems like I have the tendency to speak too soon about these things. 

My sore throat started a couple days ago as just a "frog in your throat" feeling.  The feeling that you've swallowed something, but it just doesnt want to go down.  Last night, after making burgers for dinner.... my god, I will not be eating ground beef through the remainder of my radiation course.  Talk about tough to swallow.

Luckily, there is only 1 week left of radiation treatments.  Knowing my usual anticipation of things to come, it will go by slowly, but surely!  I'd like to avoid "ensure" or "slimfast" meals 3 - 4 times a day if I can.  But I have a feeling there will be many milkshakes, mashed potatoes, and strawberries and cream ensure here and there to help with my apetite.  Even though its all loaded with sugar.   :)

I'd rather have a sore throat, than go through chemotherapy again.

A look into the radiation experience

Found this video on YouTube, as i've been searching endlessly for something similar to my experience.
This man is being treated for colon cancer, so the difference is... I actually lay face up, as they radiate my chest and neck (front and back).

But this is really close to what its really like, the sound, the machine, everything.  Enjoi.

The support system

I've been reading a lot lately about people whose support system, dissappears.  Its sad, because those of us who are going through the worst of the worst, need our family and friends more than ever.  I've been blessed with having a really close family.  Not once did I go to chemotherapy alone.  Not one day afterwards went without at least a phone call.  Its so hard to hear about peoples parents avoiding their phone calls.  Friends being ignorant.  The people closest to you backing away as you fight for your life.. its so wrong.  It makes me sad.

So this post is deticated to my support system.  I would not have gone through all of this, avoiding complications, avoiding the downward spiral of depression... without YOU.  Wish I could throw a party in honor of YOU.  Because YOU are a big, big part of the cancer fighting process.  and YOU deserve a frickin medal or something.

Cody

Sarah & Chris

Dad

Mom

Bobby

Angry Panda

Roxy

Marley

P.S. Pets ARE a huge part of your support system.

P.S.S. I also found many many great people on Planet Cancer.  No better brain to pick than a fellow young adult cancer survivor.

The Simulation

The simulation is part one of the radiation schedule.  This post is to document my experience, as it was far from enjoyable.

Mom and I show up at the radiation oncology department at St Josephs about 10min early.  A male nurse walks into the waiting room with my chart and calls my name.  So naturally I stood up and was prepared to follow him into a room where things would be explained to me.  Ha ha, No.  He proceeded to pull out a digital camera and take my picture right there in the waiting room (with all glass walls, exposing me to the hosiptals main floor) so the picture was awful, my face is bright red, hat hair, just embarrassing.  Its so I can identify myself easily, to make sure they are treating the right person.  So I shrug it off and follow him into the womens changing room where he wanted me to change into a gown, take off all jewelry, etc... I end up in a second waiting room where other radiation patients wait their turn for the zappy zap.  "Man nurse" meets me there and brings me into the "simulation room" where he proceeds to explain the importance of a pregnancy test. "is there a chance you could be pregnant?" he asks. "well, I guess theres always a chance.".  Thinking that might have been obvious if he had read my chart.  Next thing I know, hes sending me to put my clothes back on, walk over to a different building and have bloodwork done to verify whether or not i'm pregnant.

As I waited and waited for "Ms Wright?" at the lab... I finally get called back.  The lab tech sticks me and starts filling a FEW viles with my blood.  "Wow, thats a lot of blood for a pregnancy test" I said.  She says "Pregnancy Test???" Wow. Talk about a cluster-fuck of miscommunication between medical professionals. Good thing I said that DURING the blood draw so she was able to get the right colored tube for the job.

Mom and I get back to radiation oncology waiting room and are told it would be about 20minutes for the results to come back. 15min later I get an email on my phone with the pregnancy test results via email.  NEGATIVE.  45 MINUTES later a nurse shows up to escort me back to get changed.  Must have caught the lunch break.  Finally i'm back in the simulation room and they start explaining whats going down.
-Get mold of upper torso to keep you in place
-CT scan to ensure pinpoint accuracy of radiation beams.
-Tattoos to mark angles
-Watch old school 80's style educational video on radiation and cancer

I have to elaborate on the tattoos because its not what most people would think as a tattoo.  Its more like sticking a needle painfully deep into my skin, swirling it around, and pouring blue ink into the wound...  3 times. (I am NOT over-exaggerating here, it really is what they did)  After, they poured some alcohol on it to avoid infection and sent me on my way.  No stopping the bleeding, no band-aids, no cotton ball, no nothing.  So as I walk back to the dressing room, theres blood spots under both arms (mid-ribcage) and in between the boobs.  Ugh.  I desperately tried to stop the bleeding with the hospital gown before putting my clothes back on to avoid blood stains on my clothes.

All I could do throughout the entire simulation was think good thoughts Katie.  Dont cry, dont think about the embarrassment of it all.  I guess thats all you really can do when your strapped down to a table, no shirt, bloody tattoos, and 10 people hovering over me like some science project.

--Hey, just watch this 80's educational video about radiation, check in with the nurses station about skin care recommendations, and see you next week!--

Dont I get a sucker?
A sticker?
Or how about "I had cancer, and all I got was this T-Shirt"?
BUT all is well when mom treats me to some much needed BEER, and steamed crab legs at Joe's.
Mom knows best. :)

Laziness is not on my schedule.

So i've slacked a bit on updating my blog, but its in good reason I guarantee you!  You see, I would have gotten chemo this past Tuesday... but no.  I have finally gotten a week with no poking, prodding, chemicals, or feeling bad for myself.  So I took advantage and have spent my time doing shit.  Let me tell you, it is AWESOME.  In a week i've managed to find my wedding venue, set a date, workout everyday, work on sarahs baby shower, do laundry, clean house, walk dog, hang with Katy, celebrate remission, THINK ABOUT THE FUTURE.  These are all things I was unable to do, or had an extremely difficult time doing for the past 6 months.

Granted, its not all over.  I do start the radiation part of the grand scheme of things in a few short weeks.  I will be taking risks, dealing with fatigue,a "sunburn", some heartburn and a sore throat....but its still not chemo.  I can still try and get on with my life. 

The hard part is over, and i'm taking advantage.

"Its often the bend in the road that makes life worth the drive"

And the feeling good part starts...... NOW

After the tongue swelling went down (Happy Valentines Day!) I officially declared myself in recovery.  Thats right,  not AFTER radiation but AFTER chemo.  Thats when my body can start to repair itself from the 12 chemical cocktails.

Funny how the body reacts to the way you think.  After treatment 11 and before treatment 12, I started walking and stretching daily.  Started looking at wedding stuff again.  Started the recovery process before I even had my last treatment, and let me tell you.... it has done wonders.  Specifically:

Hair starting to look not so GOD AWFUL. (but thankful I didnt lose it all)
Eyebrows coming back.
Skin not so dry and rough and "ek"
Steroid weight going down (slowly but surely)
More energy!
More quality time with Cody
Better things to do than Laundry
Dont mind missing my favorite shows for some human interaction.
Football is over - means more time AWAY from the TV.
Only a matter of time before going back to work.


I still wont hug you though...  I think I will forever be a germaphobe.

Unfortunately - My nails have seen better days.  Our month of Super Mario Bros Wii has taken its toll on my thumb nails, and now the right thumb nail seems to want to part ways.  Gross.

Well, off to get my lungs checked.  Lets hope the B didnt cause any permanent damage.

Chemo NO MORE Therapy

The feelings are so overwhelming, as I repeatedly told friends and family that I would never wish this treatment on anyone... not even my worse enemy.  The feeling of accomplishment is very overwhelming and i'm sure it will be for a while. 
I still am VERY determined to hit the ground running... even if the running part requires a few weeks of walking first.

Yesterday, I completed my last treatment sans Bleomycin.  Turns out the tightness in my chest I had been mentioning for the last month finally struck SOMEBODY as a problem.  I now await a pulmonary funcion test to make sure I dont have bleomycin toxicity... which if proven true - I get back on my worst enemy.... Steriods.  The chest xray didnt show any signs of that, but we must cover all bases.

I cant wait for the celebration. 
Its FEB 20 everyone!  At Dirks off Dry Creek and University at 730 if anyone who reads this wants to come!

Bobby and Rick James' Bit&^